"Deliver me and rescue me from the hands of foreigners whose mouths are full of lies, whose right hands are deceitful. Then our sons in their youth will be like well-nurtured plants, and our daughters will be like pillars carved to adorn a palace."
From the latest book I finished I took away more than I can blog about! But today I will focus on the chapter, 'Mothers and Daughters.' Thanks Lisa for passing this to Chrisite that has very happily passed it on to me (so God's timing!!).
In 'Building Her House' by Nancy Wilson the chapter that covers mothers and daughters tugged at my heart in a special way. Wilson comments,
"...the cornerstone (pillar) is a very significant, impressive part of the building, and vital to the foundation. But this psalm is not describing the cornerstone of any old building - it is the polished marble of a palace. When God is blessing His people, covenant daughters are refined, intelligent, beautiful, and noble. Their contribution to culture both supports and adorns - they bear much weight and responsibility with the loveliness that comes of grace, discipline, and dignity. If we desire to see God bless us with such daughters, we must first compare our own view with that of scripture...how can we nurture our daughers to the stature of polished cornerstones (pillars?)" (p.69).
I love what she details as important to enabling our daughters to be all God has called them. She first mentions that we are to instill an appropriate view of what is really involved in a life of a wife and mother from a biblical perspective one that is deeply rooted in the truth that children are a blessing!
One of the her key comments is this, " A daughter who is loved will be lovely" (p.70). We need to provide for their needs, protect, and lastly and most important to me is to NOT be critical. I love how Wilson addresses us mothers, "..a loving mother will not nitpick, criticize, attribute motives, take things personally,, or be demanding and hard...daughters need love and security...a critical, unforgiving spirit will alienate a daughter...fast." (p.71)
A lot of info and there is more in her pages that provide details necessary for growth, butt maybe having this book handy is a good thing! I will find out where to get it and purchase extra. This is the kind of book to have on hand and to pass around. As always, there will be things you read that rub you and bug you I like to say, but that is usually when you are being refined by Christ and He is calling you to more, lots more. So while I was up this am (I think I finally got up at 5am even though my hips that were in spasm and the belly itch that awakened was at work far earlier than that!!) I finished reading her biblical advice and instantly felt that this was a week of refining for me as a mother. I have to stop and reflect and do it now...not to wait at all! I also have a sense of urgency with the arrival of the baby! I sense that God has more work to do in me before our baby arrives on the scene. I know I will be in a completely different state for a period of time and I don't want to waste one minute.
So, I have work to do. I am critical, I confess and I do act in ways that will alienate my daughters and my sons. Every word I utter (under my breath or to others) every tone, and expression is received by my children. I want so desperately to be a forgiving repentant mother that will ooze love toward my children, respect to my husband and honour toward our loving God. I seek this and know that it is a daily struggle for me to accomplish, but by God's grace He has given me friends, family and a husband that is helping me to meet this goal. I love that I am not alone. When I take the moment to asses quickly my response it can literally change our day. I have seen how one word, one look, and one moment of silence has taken over and dug in deep and the tone for the day simply negative. I know I have lots going on right now! I know it looks crazy to people, but this is where God has placed me and there is no way I can be the same. God has me on a path to be more Christ-like and if it takes homeschooling and five children and living a wee bit out of the city to do it, let's go. For me there is no need to be complacent. That would mean I am raising a generation of children to do the same thing.
Samantha takes to the hills and speeds towards the bottom!! Our other pillar!!!
When I go up to Samantha's room and see her clothes all over, the toys under my feet (you know the ones, hard small plastic goodies!!) I am so tempted to just get ticked. As I spoke with my sister today we reminded one another there is another way to say it and get the proper response from my daughter, in love and not in anger. I am teaching her what it is to be a mom, not angry mom! I am so convicted and ready to change the little moments and big ones. Tonight, I cleaned her room and made it look cozy and pink. I did it joyfully, and she went to be with the knowledge that I was happy in her, not in what she did or did not do. I just loved her. This does not mean I will clean her room all the time, but I wanted her to see what my mom used to do for me (still does all the time!) - selflessly love.
Bless all you mothers and mothers to be!!